__________________________No words can describe how I felt for this man from the start, from when we started to talk to when we started to get to know more about each other. I remember the first time I seen him, I was just taken back; He was so beautiful in my eyes, from the start I thought he looked good, but I never thought I'd have the luxury to call him that and be with him. I remember the first time he started picking up on my teasing, It made me question so much. I thought he might be messing with me, playing with me.. Just to hear he felt the same way, made me so happy.He makes me feel so full, makes me feel so whole and makes me feel like I can be the cheesiest person to him without the worry of being judged. He is so enlightening, like I needed his presence in my life, for a long time, too. He was a dream come true, and I could never be any more grateful to have such a man.Every single note I had saved for him, every single thought I had about him, jotted down on either now crumbled up papers or archived notes on my phone. Every single question I had laid out for him, and every single interest I wanted to pick up simply because of him. I love how everything is like a reminder of my precious boy, from the song, the time of day, or a drink of something reminiscent of my boy. The way how just hearing or spotting his name makes me all giddy inside, like how I felt when the feelings started to bloom in for him.The way how he grew and grew in my heart is crazy, If my heart were a field it'd be full of his flowers, everywhere. There wouldn't be another single flower, other then the vibrancy of the orange and the dark red that fades just inside the flower. I never felt such a love so pure, so true for a man like this in a long time. Just the thought of him wants me to plan out our whole future together, It makes me want to raise a future with this man and feel whole for him.
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__________________________I am so content with how I met you Clay Anthony Taylor, meeting you was the best thing that could happen to me, and I mean it all. You were and are such a blessing to me, just listening to your soft voice at the beginning of the day, during the day at times, and as we're about to fall asleep. I feel like I've grown so onto you and it continues to grow more and more as the days pass, and can't help but yearn for the feeling much much more as we grow closer and closer with each month, each week, each day, each hour that passes by with just the two of us. I could never ask for anything more when I have you, who's a supportive boy nonstop, and shown me what love was again. You made me realize what appreciation is and what it is to try and love, just when I was sick of it, you came into my life and shown me it all again.I'm happy we have our moments and our sad times together, because that's when we are the closest together and have to really try to work through our differences the most. It feels like that's where the most effort goes into, and you being there helps me so much. Even when we have our rough times, you show me that you really want to work through things together, you don't want to give up on each other, all you want is to help me as much as you can, and for that, I can not tell you how much I appreciate and craved that so much. You make me feel so valid and understood, so heard whenever I need someone to listen to me the most. You have been such a sweetheart to me, and for that, I will forever be thankful for the love and the affection you show to me every single day.I will forever love you, I love you so much, my love for you is so deep, and I will be forever happy that you chose me to be your partner, and you still choose me despite all the difficulties I have given you, and all the rough situations I've put us both in.
___________________________8-24-24.
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I cannot believe it has been that long, and we've been together. It hasn't even felt like that much time has gone by, It feels like it's gone by so fast. I don't understand where it all goes, I've enjoyed so much time with you and it feels like we've been through so much already, and yet I still crave to experience more with you. I want to show you my love, I want you to feel loved, I want you to understand that you mean so much to me, and you could never comprehend how much you impact and have impacted my life. I feel so much better being with you, and writing these things so freely and so confidently, knowing only you will be the one to read this.One day I want to cherish you in my arms, feel you against me. I want to experience your touch, and your love, your affection up close. I would love to experience things with you outside, Even walking with you would be a treasure, hand in hand. I want to see things with you up close, and together. I want you to meet my baby, I want you to meet my friends, I want you to see what I see, and know what It's like to be here with me. I want to do the same with you, I want to be covered in your scent, I want to get familiar with your scent and relish in it everywhere I go. I want people to know I'm your partner, I want to roam around Burlington with you, and meet your friends. I want to see what you have there, and what you have in store for me. I want to snuggle up to you, and love you so closely. I want to hear your heart beat against my ear, I want to experience it all with you.I find it crazy how, months ago, I woke up to not expecting much of anything. But you came into my life, and changed that. I wake up every morning to see a text from you, I expect to see you every single day I wake up, and now I have something to expect. It was something I didn't know I ever needed so bad, a feeling that I missed so much. I'm so glad to have you in my life, you are the person that gets me up and puts me to sleep.
I love you so much. Clay.
